Specialty · Infidelity Recovery

After the earthquake, the careful rebuilding.

An affair — emotional, sexual, digital, or otherwise — reorganizes everything. The work of recovery isn’t about pretending it didn’t happen or racing toward forgiveness. It’s about steady, structured attention to the wound and to the relationship it lives inside.

What this work includes

  • Healing After an Affair

    The early weeks are chaotic. We steady the ground before we ask you to do the deeper work.

  • Rebuilding Trust

    Trust returns through repeated, observable behavior — not through promises. We build that slowly and deliberately.

  • Understanding Why the Affair Happened

    Not to excuse — to understand. The 'why' matters for prevention and for repair.

  • Navigating Disclosure and Transparency

    How much to say, when, and in what setting. Full therapeutic disclosure done with structure, not in the heat of a moment.

  • Managing Trauma After Betrayal

    Intrusive images, hypervigilance, and cycles of grief — treated as the trauma responses they are.

  • Re-establishing Emotional Safety

    Before intimacy of any kind can return, the injured partner needs to feel — in their body — that they are safe.

  • Rebuilding Physical and Sexual Intimacy

    Paced, consent-forward work on touch, desire, and sex after betrayal. This is where sex therapy training matters.

  • Deciding Whether to Repair or End the Relationship

    Some couples heal into a stronger relationship. Some decide to part. Both are legitimate outcomes; we hold space for either.

  • Preventing Future Betrayals

    Building the conditions — internal and relational — that make betrayal far less likely to happen again.

So How Do We Achieve These Goals?

Discovering an affair can be one of the most painful experiences a relationship can endure. Feelings of betrayal, anger, grief, shame, and uncertainty are common for both partners. While healing is not always easy—and not every couple chooses to stay together—many relationships can recover and even emerge stronger with the right support, commitment, and intentional effort.

My approach to infidelity recovery is tailored to the unique needs of each couple and integrates evidence-based methods to help partners process the betrayal, rebuild trust, and determine whether reconciliation is the right path.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT is one of the most well-researched approaches for couples experiencing betrayal. Rather than focusing only on the affair itself, EFT helps uncover the deeper emotional injuries and attachment needs that have been impacted. Partners learn to express vulnerability, respond to one another with greater empathy, and gradually rebuild emotional safety—the foundation upon which trust can be restored.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy

The Gottman Method provides practical, research-based strategies for navigating the aftermath of infidelity. Therapy focuses on understanding what contributed to the affair without excusing it, facilitating healthy disclosure and accountability, improving communication, managing conflict, rebuilding friendship and intimacy, and creating a shared vision for the future.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT can help address the intrusive thoughts, self-blame, anxiety, depression, and unhelpful thinking patterns that often follow betrayal. It also equips partners with practical coping strategies to regulate emotions and respond more effectively during the healing process.

Trauma-Informed Care

For many individuals, infidelity is experienced as a traumatic event. Treatment incorporates trauma-informed principles to help reduce emotional reactivity, process painful memories, and restore a sense of emotional safety and stability.

Sex Therapy

Affairs often have a profound impact on a couple's sexual relationship. Sex therapy provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to address desire discrepancies, sexual anxiety, avoidance, performance concerns, and the gradual rebuilding of physical and emotional intimacy.

Individualized Treatment

No two affairs—and no two relationships—are the same. Therapy is tailored to your unique circumstances, whether the goal is repairing the relationship, navigating the uncertainty of whether to stay together, or separating with clarity and respect.

Healing after infidelity requires honesty, accountability, compassion, and sustained effort from both partners. While the process can be challenging, many couples find that with evidence-based treatment and a willingness to engage in the work, it is possible to rebuild trust, reconnect emotionally, and create a stronger, more resilient relationship.

A note on pacing

Infidelity recovery is not a quick fix. Most couples do this work over many months. Early sessions focus on stabilization; later sessions get into the deeper questions of meaning, story, and repair. Sex and intimacy come back in their own time — forced too early, they backfire.

Ready to start the conversation?

Initial consultations are a brief, no-pressure video call to see whether we're the right fit.

Get in touch